There is a democrat version of this floating around the net. I didn't find it too funny. Go figure. My Repub friends (yes, I do have a few) will probably find the Dem version hysterical. Oh wait, does the GOP find anything hysterical?!? Gotcha! I'd stop reading now if you consider yourself conservative. This is funny stuff if you're not. :)
You Might Be A Republican If...
You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"
You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"
You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.
You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."
You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."
You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."
You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."
You answer to "The Man."
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."
You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."
When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."
You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."
You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.
You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
You've ever called education a luxury.
You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
You're afraid of the liberal media."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
You confuse Lenin with Lennon.
Beware of the telephone police. Legislators say there are too many phone calls about Medicaid, and they must be stopped. Social services workers are told they must stop telling their clients to call legislators.
Who is working for whom? The people have a right to call their legislators about any issue they are concerned about as often as they want and when they want. There is no limit. It sounds like they want to send the phone police out and stop this harassment immediately.
Legislators need to be concerned about the 100,000 people knocked out of medical coverage. If I was one of those people I would be calling too. The Medicaid system needs to be on the agenda of every legislator. Spending in government needs to be brought under control, but dismantling Medicaid was the wrong course of action.
JOHN COOLEY, Jackson
I totally agree. I happen to know John's wife, Lisa. She's a great lady and great therapist. John has cut a Christian album with some other local doctors. I digress. When I read the original story covering this issue a few days I ago, I laughed out loud. The legislators actually told the call center supervisiors at Medicaid that they were not allowed to tell callers to contact their legislators. Apparently, they don't like being flooded with calls from angry citizens who are now without health coverage due recent cuts. Go figure. I'm guessing the poorly paid Medicaid call center employees are pretty tired of hearing from them too, especially since they have no control over what has happened to these poor people, yet are forced to bear the brunt of the frustration. This makes me want to call my legislators every day just to bitch. Tired of calls? Too freakin' bad! The last time I checked anyone could and should let their legislators know of their concerns and I'd say that being without health insurance is a pretty damn big concern. I can only assume that the legislators are too busy plotting what they can cut next to listen to the current concerns of their constituencies. These people suck.
